Regret: a feeling of sadness about something sad or wrong, or about a mistake that you have made, and a wish that it could have been different and better.

There is definitely some things that I have done in my past that I regret. I regret doing those actions. I regret saying what I said. I regret holding onto things that should not be held onto. I regret the pain and hurt that I have caused others. Wouldn’t it be better if we could go back and redo everything in our lives that has ever caused us some regret? I mean, we could fix everything and truly live without any regrets, no mistakes, no hurt feelings, no sleepless nights. Well, at least until we mess up again.

How exactly do we move past this constant feeling of regret?

I don’t know.

How exactly do those whom we have hurt along the way, that has caused us this regret, move past the hurt?

I don’t know.

Is it even possible to live a life without any regret?

I don’t know.

What I do know is that we, myself included, make mistakes. All. The. Time. We are not a perfect, sinless people. We will never be while living on this earth. The only place where we can go without feeling any regret is heaven; that perfect place without any sin, or hurt, or tears (Revelation 21:1-4). Unfortunately, for myself and those of you reading this, that means we have to find a way to live in this world and deal with all of the regrets and hurt that we have caused others.

This world would tell us to live without regrets would be to put ourselves first, do whatever we want and whatever it takes to make ourselves happy because life is too short to live with regrets. I agree that life is short, but that kind of attitude is the exact opposite of what we find in scripture. The best way that I can think of to deal with the regrets would be to start living in such a way that doesn’t bring about much regret.

Our words can cause us much regret.

James chapter 3 is a great chapter warning us about our tongues. In verse 8 it is described as something no man can tame, an unruly evil, and full of deadly poison. It goes on to say in verses 9-10 that we use it to bless God and then turn right around and say hurtful things to those around us, those who were created in the likeness of the God. I don’t know about you, but I would not dare say anything unkind to or about my God. When it comes to those we live with, our friends, our neighbors, our coworkers, our bosses, or just the random person driving super slow in front of us it’s so easy to let some unkind or hurtful words slip. That proverbial filter quits working.

What if we actually stopped and prayed before blurting out whatever popped in our heads like Nehemiah (Nehemiah 1:4-11)? What if we actually were much quicker in our listening than our speaking and anger (James 1:19)? What if we intentionally focused our words on all of those beautiful things in Philippians 4:8?

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Perhaps we would experience less regret from now on with the words that come out of our mouths.

Our attitudes and actions can cause us much regret.

There is this verse in Philippians 2:14 that says “Do all things without murmurings and disputings:”. It does not say some things or most of the things. It says all things.

What about that overflowing trash can?

All things.

What about taking the dog out in the rain for the fifteenth time?

All things.

What about not getting my way? You know, the plans I have or doing things my way or doing what I want?

All things.

Does this mean I can’t have an opinion or discussion about things? No. What it means is that I need to watch my attitude towards all things. My attitude, whether good or bad, can affect not only my day, but the day of those around me. Having a bad attitude brings about many regrets that could be avoided if I would commit a few Bible verses to memory.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Philippians 2:3-4

Perhaps we would experience less regret regarding our attitudes if we pray more often, we give thanks for every situation we find ourselves in, and we remember to consider others and their feelings.

We may experience hurt due to others regrets.

I can’t help but to go to Saul/Paul in this situation. Saul, before he became Paul, went about persecuting Christians (Acts 8:3). In fact, in Acts 9 it says he was breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord (9:1-3). When Saul, now Paul at this moment, was recounting his story this is what he said :

Indeed, I myself thought I must do many things contrary to the name of Jesus of Nazareth. This I also did in Jerusalem, and many of the saints I shut up in prison, having received authority from the chief priests; and when they were put to death, I cast my vote against them. And I punished them often in every synagogue and compelled them to blaspheme; and being exceedingly enraged against them, I persecuted them even to foreign cities.

Acts 26:9-11

Saul was going around causing harm to others and bringing so much hurt to families.

After Saul literally had that eye opening experience in Acts 9, he went from persecuting to preaching, from breathing threats to baptizing, from murder to making many disciples for Christ. He did so much for our Lord, yet he still carried some regret that kept him humble.

For I am the least of the apostles, who am not worthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.

1 Corinthians 15:9-10

We know Paul had regret and we know others were hurt because of his previous actions. I wonder how those he persecuted are dealing with the hurt today, like literally today. They were persecuted because of their belief and faith and trust in our Lord. They were faithfully following Christ every day and did not hide it. I’m not the judge, God is, but to have a faith that does not waver while being persecuted makes me believe they are sitting in paradise waiting for the judgement day. We know Paul changed his life and faithfully followed God. There is no doubt in my mind that he is sitting in paradise waiting for the judgement day.

Do you think they are sitting at opposite sides of paradise? Do you think they are giving Paul the stink eye? Do you think they walk down opposite sides of that pure gold street?

I don’t think so because those attitudes don’t belong there. I believe they are rejoicing over the fact that this once persecutor is now in paradise. I believe they let the hurt go. I believe they all moved past the regret and hurt and are singing praises to the One who helps us (Psalm 121:2).

In this life we will always have regrets and hurts. There is just no way of completely avoiding them, but we can try our best to live in a way to lessen the regrets. When we are hurt try to remember those who were persecuted to death and eventually let the hurt go. Letting go of the hurt and moving past the regrets will definitely ease some of our burdens while we are striving for that home in heaven where they never exist.

By: Kristina Odom